Can You Wrap It Up For Me?

Ebay being the place where you can buy and for that matter sell anything have a couple a auctions going that might be of interest for the football fans amongst you.

Lot 1 - Jamie Redknapp's Range Rover Vogue 4.4

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=29748&item=2487468461&rd=1

Current Highest Bid: £37,350

Lot 2 - RYAN GIGGS MERCEDES C32 AMG FFSH 53K 2001 51 NO

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=9855&item=2487379057&rd=1

Current Highest Bid: £23,850

Finally also on Ebay, if you are looking to move house and don't want to bother with estate agents feel free to put in a bid in this auction.

Lot 3 - Large 3-Bed Detached 145' Rear Garden Swimming Pool in the much sought after area of Witney Oxfordsire.

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=1607&item=4319298969&rd=1

Current Highest Bid: £300,000

Long live Ebay.

Gaming Top Tens

Anyone with an interest in computing or for that matter gaming will at some point come with a list of their top ten games (I'll probably do mine one day), now consider every aspect of gaming and then compile a top ten for it, that is exactly what Gamespy have been doing.

You can find the list of available top tens here:-
http://www.gamespy.com/articles/?constraint.grid.section=Top+10

Okay I know you want to go and read the top tens for yourself, alright I'll wait until you get back and then I'll finish up here.......

Good you're back, now where was I?

Out of the top tens, Lara Croft is unsurprising the No.1 gaming babe, it is hard to imagine the Tomb Raider series without Ms Croft but the original lead character was going to be male (Indiana Jones anyone?) and some might argue that the Sega Dreamcast did 'make it' and doesn't warrant an entry in a top ten of consoles that never made it.

Holes found in Windows XP update

Within a few hours of home users starting to secure their PCs with Windows XP Service Pack 2 (so they thought), security experts have found ways around it, in other words the Service Pack is not safe.

Amusingly Microsoft have already started to release patches for the Service Pack.

It is a case of closing the gate after the horse has bolted, now I am sure the multi-million (or should that be billion dollar?) corporation that is Microsoft can afford to pay for some significant testing and research, why don't they get one of these security firms on board to test the software for loopholes before releasing it to the general public, rather than releasing it and then in days and weeks that follow have security firms tell the world how the flaws in the software can compromise system security, it comes across as Microsoft don't care.

If there were a significant number of rival operating systems creating competition for Microsoft I'm sure the updates wouldn't come across as being unfinished, but therein the problem lies there is no real competition for now.

A word of advice turn Windows Automatic Updates off, do not install the Service Pack at the moment. Wait until it is a bit more reliable....

It could be a long wait though.

More here:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/3583860.stm

The More It Fixes, The More It Breaks..

After what can only be called a long wait, Microsoft has finally released it's Windows XP Service Pack 2 to business users. Now before you get excited, reports have circulated about programs behaving differently once the upgrade is in place and some programs have stopped working completely.

Microsoft have issued two knowledge base articles relating to this development (or should that non-development?):-

Programs that may behave differently in Windows XP Service Pack 2

Some programs seem to stop working after you install Windows XP Service Pack 2

One issue that becomes apparent from the articles is that the update seems to interfere with the workings of some antivirus and firewall software and there was I thinking that the update was supposed to improve system security.

Oh well back to the drawing board, maybe Service Pack 3 will fix Service Pack 2.

Higher..Faster..Stronger

So the 28th Olympic Games are officially underway (the Olympic Football competition started on Wednesday) and with over 200 countries (some of which I've neither heard of or know where they are geographically) there's going to be a lot of national anthems to try and identify as the games progress.

Hopefully these games will pass by with little or no drug related stories, but that may be too much to hope for.

Anyway, roll on the next 16 days.

Angry Alien Productions Presents....

Films In 30 Seconds With Acting Bunnies!

http://www.angryalien.com/

If you don't have the time to sit through a film let Angry Alien Productions help you as they condense a film down into 30 seconds (cutting out all the non important bits) and make it all cartoony and stuff.

The cartoons are animated using Macromedia Flash and so far the '30-Second Bunnies Theatre Troupe' have performed in the following productions:- The Exorcist, The Shining, Titanic and Alien and there will be more to come.

See for yourself why The Exorcist bunnies won a silver public prize for Best Short Film at the Fantasia Film Festival in Montreal.

It's all tremendous fun, shame there are only 4 films at the moment.

We want more dammit!

Maths Test

Okay in an effort to make this blog educational we are going to do a spot of algebra. Ready?

First let me give you the variables:-
es = escalating music, u = the unknown, cs = chase scenes, t = sense of being trapped, s = shock, tl = true life, f = fantasy, a = character is alone, dr = in the dark, fs = film setting, n = number of people, sin = blood and guts and 1 = stereotypes.

Now here's the formula:-
(es+u+cs+t) squared +s+ (tl+f)/2 + (a+dr+fs)/n + sin x - 1

I'll give you a few minutes to work out the answer.....

Give in?

The answer is of course Stanley Kubrick's The Shining.

WHAT! I hear you cry. Well the secret of making a scary movie has been calculated by university experts (who else?) and apparently you can find that out by using that formula. An easier way would probably have been to see which film made the most money at the box office (no formula needed).

Now where's that get rich quick formula.....

More here:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/film/3537938.stm

Sven(gland)

So after much discussion, rumour, counter rumour and whatnot Sven Goran Eriksson will remain England Football Coach.

Now I'm not sure what Sven's private life has to do with being a football coach and therefore can't really see what the fuss was about, think about it Sven is single, Faria Alam's single so in essence there was nothing to see here just two people in a relationship (argh!! two people involved a relationship, the outrage).

So why the big deal, well the big stories sell lots of papers so the press can be partly to blame, also the FA can be partly to blame as well for issuing a public statement (why? no other organisation issues statements about so and so going out with so and so) thus building the whole thing out of proportion and led to today's emergency meeting.

I wonder if the possibly large compensation pay out that would have been needed to pay off Sven had any bearing on the outcome of today's meeting? Just a thought.

Sven will have to deliver the goods (fnar, fnar!) at World Cup 2006 for this decision to be vindicated.

More here:
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1046945.html

Ultimate Band List

We all know how useful imdb.com is for finding information about a film, an actor or an actress (if not click the link and try it for yourself) but how about something similar for music?

You might want to find out which band originally sang that song you've just heard on an advert or how many times Unchained Melody has been covered, perhaps...

Ladies and gentlemen I give you the Ultimate Band List:

http://ubl.artistdirect.com

A search engine for music with a database of more than 500,000 artists and millions of links so the chances are you will find what you are looking for.

Happy searching.

Gamehunt

A number of high street stores have taken the decision to remove the game Manhunt from sale. The decision was made after the parents of a schoolboy murdered by a friend blamed the game for their son's death.

The question I have is this, before computer games were around what was blamed for murders? films? we they banned or taken out of public circulation? Not really.

I do wonder if the companies realise what this snap reaction might do. For one thing if you make something unobtainable you only make the public want it even more (check out Ebay, copies of the game are going for upto £50 and the game's only been banned for a couple of days), secondly the game now forever more becomes known as the game they tried to ban therefore securing it's cult status and it's place in gaming history, and lastly due to the publicity the game has received game makers will now try to create games that are even more violent just to try and better Manhunt.

As most games now have a BBFC rating (same as films) this surely means that games and films are viewed as a similar form of entertainment and therefore in fairness if games are banned for being too violent shouldn't the same apply to films.

Discuss....

More information:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/leicestershire/3936597.stm

Bye Bye Pierce (Perhaps)

Now I'll admit to enjoying a James Bond film, but it looks like the next film (with the current catchy title of 'Bond 21')  might be still some way off if this report is true:-

http://www.mi6.co.uk/news/index.php?itemid=1561

Let the speculation as to Pierce Brosnan's replacement recommence.....

The Njc Retro Game Rant For Donkey Kong

Jumpman looks awfully familiar.

The History
It's 1980 and Nintendo were just starting to dip it's toe into the waters of the arcade game industry. Now at this point in time the arcade games available to the public were pretty much of the same style, you shot at things, they shot back, and eventually you were overwhelmed by either sheer speed or numbers until you lost (Space Invaders being a prime example). Then you entered your name in the high-score table and challenged your friends to beat you.

One of Nintendo's first attempts was a game called Radarscope (a game where you shot at things and they shot back and eventual... nevermind) which few people knew about and even fewer people played. It was back to the drawing board for Nintendo. Step forward Shigeru Miyamoto.

Rather than have a bash at improving Radarscope Miyamoto like everybody else ignored it and started a fresh on something new. He had lots of ideas for games but found that unfortunately the corpse that was the Radarscope hardware couldn't handle them, so something simpler was needed. The idea he came up with was that there was a small man with a huge gorilla for a pet (common in the 80's). The giant gorilla hated being under the control of something so puny, so it escaped (again common in the 80's). Then, purely out of spite, the gorilla kidnapped his owner's girlfriend (named Pauline, but you didn't know that), climbed a building, and dared his owner to climb up to him to try to retrieve the girl. All he needed now was a title for the game.

Since the game would be played in English-speaking arcades (and roughly based on King Kong movies), he needed a name for his new creation. Something that described how stubborn and inflexible this gorilla was, something that just wouldn't do what it was told. How about other animals that are known for being notoriously hard to deal with? Mules, camels, donkeys... Hence Donkey Kong was born. The game was a huge success for Miyamoto and Nintendo, but then Universal throw a spanner in the works by claiming that Donkey Kong infringed on its copyright for the character and the name King Kong. So off to court everybody went.

Universal claimed that its copyright was still valid (even though the film was over 50 years old) and that the idea of a man climbing a building to save his girlfriend from a giant ape was the plot of it's movie. Nintendo in defense, argued that King Kong's copyright was outdated and that Donkey Kong didn't resemble the movie in any way. The judge who presided over the case agreed with Nintendo's defense and ruled that Universal no longer had a claim to King Kong and knew this when it filed the suit against Nintendo. So as well as losing the case, Universal had to pay Nintendo a $1.8 million penalty fee for wasting the time of both the court and the video game giant.

So there you have it, the brief history of Donkey Kong. The game that launched Nintendo's rise to where it is today.

The Gameplay
It's a platform game and you control Jumpman (okay it's Mario and he's a carpenter as this point and there's no power up mushrooms in sight) and he can jump, walk left or right, climb ladders and grab items including a hammer (which he can use to destroy barrels). The game had four levels or screens. Level 1 has you avoiding barrels and fireballs and climbing ladders, level 2 is a bit more difficult with moving platforms and melting steel to add to the barrels and ladder climbing, level 3 is even harder still with tougher jumps and with Donkey Kong now throwing I-beams at you instead of barrels (nasty) and level 4 has you triggering weak spots in the foundation of the building so that Donkey Kong would fall on his head with a crash and you do this by you've guessed it ladder climbing.

The Graphics
Baring in mind that this game was created in 1981 the graphics are more than adequate, in fact the Mario sprite would hardly change until he arrived on the Nintendo 64 (and became 3D) and Donkey Kong didn't look much different when he got his own game in Donkey Kong Country.

The Sound
Lots of jingles and effects all add to the gameplay experience.

The Lifespan
Once Jumpman reaches the top of each level, Donkey Kong grabs Pauline and climbs higher up the building and this goes on in cycles of the four levels getting increasingly more difficult until you run out of lives or just get bored.

The Ratings (out of 5)
The Gameplay: 5
The Graphics: 5
The Sound:5
The Lifespan: 5

The Blogger says...
It was the start of a rivalry which still rages today in the form of Mario vs Donkey Kong on the Gameboy Advance, so I'd say it was a success wouldn't you. The reason for this success is that the game is simple, but addictive. You will just have to play one more game and try to beat the hi-score and see how high you can go. It's easy to see how this game influenced the design and gameplay of Super Mario Bros and all the other platform games that followed it.

Overall Score 5

Highly recommended. Another true video game classic.

Sony vs Mod Chips

A UK High Court has passed a ruling making the use of a mod chip in a Playstation 2 illegal.  Now a mod chip or a 'chipped' Playstation 2 allows the owner to not only play games imported from the USA and Japan but pirated copies of games and backup versions of games and this is where the problem lies (Sony doesn't like it). 

More often then not games are released in the USA or Japan with no intention of a UK release and the only way to play these games is to buy the game via a UK game importer  and then play it on the Playstation 2 via the mod chip (I won't get into the PAL vs NTSC debate here).   With this ruling, this is no longer an option.

Surely an option to cut down on piracy would be to make the games cheaper.  It costs roughly 1 earth pound to produce a CD, and with some games costing upto £50 where does the other £49 go?  Few people can afford to pay out £50 each time they buy a new game, no wonder piracy is on the increase. 

Just to confuse matters an Italian Court ruled the other way making the mod chips legal, on the basis that it's up to the user, not Sony, how they use their PS2.

Whatever the courts or Sony for that matter rule, it won't stop people from pirating games and then finding ways to play them on their favourite console mod chip or not.

More information:
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2004/07/21/ps2_mod_chip_win/

Things You Get In Your Inbox

Or technically things you get as spam.  Just received this incredibly useless offer in my inbox.  The subject of the spam was "Noticeably fuller sexier lips in 90 seconds - try it" and the accompying advert offered me (all under the title of Luscious Lips) the following benefits:-

• the ability to get full, sexy, desirable lips with no injections!
• a painless, inexpensive alternative to collagen 
• compatatible with your favourite lipstick.
• Dermatologist recommended.

Now as tempting as all that is, I don't think I'll bother.

Don't you just hate spam......

Outrun 2

So 18 years after the original and just under a year since the sequal hit the arcades, the Xbox conversion of Outrun 2 is almost ready for release. 
 
Now I have to admit to being a fan of the original arcade version (I'll review it one day) and I'm tempted to see whether it has the same addictive qualities as the original and whether the music is as catchy is ever (Magical Sound Shower anyone?) and I would but for small problem, I don't have an Xbox!
 
Now seeing as most Xbox games are being (or can be) converted to the PC, how about a PC conversion of Outrun 2 next? 
 
More about Outrun 2 available here: http://www.computerandvideogames.com/news/news_story.php?id=107060

Arise Sir Tim Berners-Lee

I know what you are thinking, who is Tim Berners-Lee?  Well without him you wouldn't be able to view any web page and very possibly the Internet as we know it probably wouldn't exsist.

 

So who is he then I hear you all asking, well he is the recognised father of the web, and in 1991, he came up with a system to organise, link and browse pages on the net or as we know it now the World Wide Web.

 

More information about Sir Tim Berners-Lee here:-

 

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/3899723.stm
 

I think there is lots of information about the World Wide Web available elsewhere......

On an unrelated note, Blogger has had another bit of an overhaul and the post creation page has all new features many of which I intend to try out at one point or another.  By the way another retro game review is on the way soon.

Stay Safe Out There (Act 2-Spam)

Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam......

If I was to say to you spam what would you think of? A tin of luncheon meat? A Monty Python sketch? or perhaps that nuisance of the email inbox junk email.

Now if you have an email account you probably will have a bit of spam in there somewhere, usually ranging from offering degrees in a variety of subjects to free health advice to making certain bits of you bigger! But how does it get there?

Simple, as soon as you use your email address for anything whether it is for online shopping or signing up for a online newsletter you become fair game to the 'Spammers' and they don't waste much time before they start flooding your inbox. But what can done to eliminate spam?

Well it's almost impossible to eliminate spam entirely but it can be reduced. A simple thing to do is have two email accounts, one where only friends and family know the email address and one that you use for anything else and hopefully this will localise the spam into one email account thus making it easier to clean out. Alternatively most email clients (including web based) include filters that can be set up to block emails that contain certain terms in it's subject line so you never receive the email it just goes straight into your deleted mail folder but it's not always entirely successful.

One thing is certain though spam will find a way into your email inbox one way or another, and the thing is spam like junk mail is not illegal.

Rant over......... Again.

More information on the increase in spam can be found here:-
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/3893363.stm

Perhaps Six Sequels Isn't Enough

10 years after the last one and 20 years since the first one, is it really time for another Police Academy film?

http://www.cnn.com/2004/SHOWBIZ/Movies/07/08/
film.policeacademy.reut/index.html

Perhaps so...

Stay Safe Out There

Something a bit different this time, as following the recent reports of numerous security 'holes' in Microsoft programs (namely Windows and Internet Explorer) it was time for a bit of a rant.

Now while we all wait for the next Windows XP Service Pack (unless you're not running Windows XP in which case you're not waiting for the Service Pack at all) Microsoft continues to plug the holes in it's software only after someone has exposed the 'hole' or as we all know it 'hacking' in the form of patches. Surely the multi billion company that is Microsoft should be able to find the 'holes' in it's software before the hackers do, else Microsoft might as well admit that the software was released unfinished and by releasing numerous patches and Service Packs they seem to be suggesting this fact.

Fortunately your average home user is not what your average hacker is looking for and is of no interest to them, but that doesn't mean that you should overlook system security. Ideally you should have installed on your system:- an antivirus program, a firewall and a spyware checker as the bare minimum if you frequently use the internet and don't forgot to keep them up-to-date, else they might as well not be there. Of course the only way to stay safe is to never use the Internet again, but then you wouldn't be able to read this blog again. Please stay!

If you use the Internet there is good chance that you will be viewing this blog in Internet Explorer. But Internet Explorer comes in for it's fair share of criticism due to it's many security holes. An option is to change your default browser. You can find a browser comparison at this web page - http://www.peterre.com/browsers.html. Out of the browsers currently available Firefox appears to be many peoples browser of choice, but it too was found to have a security 'hole' that could be exploited by hackers. It could be that no Internet browser is entirely safe from hackers.

So maybe Microsoft is trying it's best to keep up with the hackers it's just that the hackers are always one step ahead. Only time will tell who wins this one.

Rant over.

Summer Weather?

I can remember when summers were summers, when the sun would come out and everything, but it would appear that winter has come early this year....

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/3874683.stm

A Game Of Rock, Paper, Saddam?

http://bigmixup.com/rockpapersaddam/

"I've got your two papers RIGHT HERE. NOW PLAY SERIOUS, ASS"

Fantastic.

Reopen For Business

I'm sorry there hasn't been much activity on the blog front during the past week, but as regular readers will have spotted I've had the decorators in and I like what they have done with the place.

Apart from a new paint job to the blog (which makes it easier to read I think) other changes are that the tag board is no more, although it could show up again on the brand new supplemental website currently in development (more later). The archives are now listed as months (or at least they will be as at the moment there is only one month to archive so far) rather then weekly and I think it just makes the blog look less cluttered and improves navigation around the blog. So we'll see how this layout works out.

The website is currently under construction (so sayeth the current homepage). Once the site goes live the plan is to use it as a supplement to the main blog (possibly with a similar design style) which at the moment will probably include photos (even though it's possible to add images to the blog I'd prefer to keep it text only for now) and an archive for the game rants and anything else I can think of that might not be blog worthy.

That's all for now. See you later.

Movie Bloopers and Mistakes

Well not much going on at the moment and I've got nothing to rant or blog about, so let me point you in the direction of the following website:-

http://www.moviemistakes.com/

Identified by FHM magazine as one of the 100 greatest websites, this website lists bloopers and mistakes that have been found in movies (I think the website's address kind of gave that one away). Nearly all of the site's movie mistakes come through contributors from around the globe, so go on add your own.

Of course you will be rushing to get that movie into the DVD player just to see the mistakes for yourselves....

The Njc Retro Game Review For Pong

Where it all began or did it ......?

Not knowing which game to start with for reviewing I thought I'd start at the beginning with a retro review of the game wrongly recognized as the first video game Pong.

Brief History Of Pong (the full history is much bigger)
The history of Pong can be traced back to 1958 when Willy Higinbotham created a playable version of tennis using an oscilliscope. The oscilliscope (the X-BOX of it's day - a large, bulky machine with few games for it) was also the hardware platform that played the first nationally recognized video game called Spacewar although to run this game an expansion pack was required in the form of a room filling mainframe (it never caught on).

While Spacewar was renamed to Computer Space and turned into an arcade machine (without the need for a room filling mainframe)it was not a success when released to the public. It was found that the public (who never seen a games arcade before, let alone an arcade game) found the game too complicated. The public needed something a bit simpler and what could be simpler then hitting a ball with a bat or as we know it Pong.

So while Pong was not the first videogame, it was the first arcade game that people knew how to play (early instructions simply stated that a player needed to hit the ball with bat to maximize score!) and the first mainstream videogame that was available to almost everyone, so there.

Gameplay
It's just like tennis, you hit the ball with your bat your opponent does the same and this goes on till someone misses the ball and then you play the next point or someone gets to 15 points at which point we have a winner, it's simple but it is addictive.

Graphics
Not much to say really, there's two bats (disguised as vertical lines) and a ball (oddly square shaped) and in later versions on screen scoring and it's all in glorious monochrome, although later versions and the many varients will use colour (blasphemy).

Sound
A beep (or pong sound) when the ball hits the bat, what more do you want?

Lifespan
When it was the only video game there was it's lifespan was huge, now it's probably just coffee/tea break material.

Ratings (out of 5)
Gameplay 5
Graphics 5
Sound 5
Lifespan 5

The Blogger says...
Alright so the ratings are a bit off as the game hasn't aged well and we are all now used to graphic intensive games but if it wasn't for Pong achieving mainstream success, computer/video games may never have taken off and we wouldn't have the graphic intensive games and consoles we do today, and besides I'm pretty sure everybody at one point or another has played a variant of Pong, if not shame on you.

Overall Score 5

Highly recommended. A true video game classic.

More Information about Pong
http://www.classicgaming.com/museum/pong

Retro Game Review Tomorrow

Just a quick update, tomorrow I'll post my first game review and as a spoiler I'll just say it's an early video game classic.

As a write this Holland have just beaten Sweden on penalties, and to be honest there was nothing on display tonight that would have worried England, if of course England were still in the tournament (don't re-open old wounds, must let it go).

Nothing more to say, back tomorrow.

Weekend Update

Well the post mortem on England's latest defeat seems to point the blame at either David Beckham, referee Urs Meier or the beach that was the penalty spot, okay then. On a match related note the injury that forced Wayne Rooney out of the game was the two years out of date trend that is the broken metatarsal (that was so World Cup 2002).

Last night's Euro 2004 action saw the defending champions France lose to Greece. Greece who before this tournament had never won a match in a tournament environment before are now one match away from the final. Greece to win the tournament and then dominate the Olympics anyone.

Big Brother had it's first real, proper eviction last night and Vanessa Nimmo was the housemate evicted with 86% of the vote and she got booed out of the house (although I'll be surprised if anyone leaves the house after a public vote without being booed).

I'm going to start adding to the blog content so instead of just sharing my views on news items and stuff, websites I find on the Internet (good place to look!) to wile away the hours, I'm going to add reviews of whatever I care to review - probably retro computer games (editor's note: please see Wednesday's 'Forgotten Games' post) and some DVD's (original huh, bet no-one's thought about doing that!) and anything else I think is worthwhile reviewing.

Till next time....

Not Again....

Portugal 2-2 England (Portugal go through 6-5 on penalties)

Well the 2004 European Championships will now continue without any further involvement from England after they lost in tonight's Quarter Final.

What follows is a match summary complete with your blogger's mood in (bold) at various points of the game.

After Michael Owen's early goal (happy) and Wayne Rooney's injury (sad), Portugal were in control and the equalizing goal was slightly inevitable even though it took them 83 minutes to get it (worried) and with both teams tiring as the game went into Silver Goal extra time (more worried), Portugal scored again (even more worried) before England scored with 5 minutes of extra time remaining (nervous, it's going to be penalties!), and then the penalties themselves (nervous, stressed, can't watch, etc!).

Is it just me or was the referee giving a lot of decisions the home team's way? Can England lose any other way except on penalties?

As someone once said "It's a funny old game".

I'm off to lie down in a darkened room....

Current Mood: Sick As A Parrot

Forgotten Games

Can I just point your attention to the following website.

http://www.the-underdogs.org

The website in question is called the Home of the Underdogs and it is a website which has a large collection of PC and console games that were underrated and/or undersold when they were originally released.

The aim of the website is to make these games available again to people who remember them the first time and those that don't and best of all most of them are free!

Terrible Puns

Share these puns with your friends better yet your enemies!

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank. This proved once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.

A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He sidles up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender "How much for a beer?" The bartender replies "For you, no charge."

Two atoms are walking down the street and they run into each other. One says to the other "Are you all right?," to which the other responds "No, I lost an electron." The first asks "Are you sure?," to which the other responds "Yes, I'm positive."

Did you hear about the Buddhist monk who refused his dentist's Novocaine during a root canal procedure? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

A group of chess enthusiasts check into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked. "Because," he replied, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in a open foyer."

A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew his habit and would always have the drink waiting at precisely 5:03 PM. One afternoon, as the end of the workday approached, the bartender was dismayed to find that he was out of hazelnut extract. Thinking quickly, he threw together a daiquiri made with hickory nuts and set it on the bar. The doctor came in at his regular time, took one sip of the drink and exclaimed "This isn't a hazelnut daiquiri!!" "No, I'm sorry," replied the bartender. "It's a hickory daiquiri, doc."

A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men, one sitting under a tree reading a book and the other typing away at a typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of beasts knows that readers digest and writers cramp.

A guy goes to a psychiatrist. "Doc, I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First, I'm a tepee, then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy! What's wrong with me?" The doctor replies, "It's very simple. You're two tents."

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns in the hopes that at least one pun would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

Rooney...Rooney...Rooney...

England 4 - Croatia 2

So England are through to the European Championship Quarter Finals for the 1st time on away soil after beating Croatia 4-2 tonight.

Things started badly when Croatia scored inside the first 6 minutes of the game but with goals from Paul Scholes (1st England goal in 3 years), 2 from Wayne Rooney (player of the tournament so far) and Frank Lampard saw England fairly comfortably home.

On the negative side the defense doesn't look too solid against corners and free kicks, but thinking positively not every player is playing at his best and if all the team can start to produce, England could get at least get to the final if not win it.

Roll on Thursday night and the host nation.

Current Mood: Over The Moon

Big Brother

I was going to try and avoid mentioning anything about Big Brother but seeing as all the papers are devoting space to it I might as well join in.

Now if you didn't know the producers have decided to 'Evict' Emma Greenwood from the Big Brother house for her and the housemates personal safety. Fair enough we don't need to see people getting hurt in the interests of television.

It's okay being reactive to certain situations, but in such an environment shouldn't the producers have been a bit more proactive and made sure that the events didn't occur at all, I imagine they got the reaction they wanted when Emma and Michelle returned to the house on Wednesday night and then some. When the police start getting involved it's possibly gone to far.

The producers have set themselves a dangerous level to try to maintain for the remainder of the programme without people switching off or the housemates jeopardizing their personal safety.

Last year's Big Brother may not have been the most exciting thing ever but at least there was no threat to any of the housemates personal safety.

More info on Big Brother here

I Never Knew That.....

Ever wanted to know some background information about your favourite song, this website is the one for you.

http://songfacts.com/

It's amazing what you can find on this internet thing...

How long is 0.4 seconds anyway?

See how good you are at estimating the passing of time and see how much time passes while you try to estimate it!

http://www.zefrank.com/everysecond/

Fun for all the family.

Testing....3

I've now added a tagboard, a guestbook and a hit counter and I have now decided to leave the blog as it is for a bit and start adding more entries.

If you do use the tagboard a word of caution don't try to write too much as the tagboard is only designed for short, snappy comments and if I'm about I'll join in the discussion too (well it is my blog!).

Also feel free to sign the guestbook, my name looks lonely in there.

If you are reading this and you haven't set up your own blog yet, go on give it go, if I can do it anyone can!

Testing over, let the blogging begin.

Testing....2

I haven't forgotten about the blog, I'm still adjusting the formatting of the main blog page hence the blog free zone since Tuesday night.

Since the last time I was here, the commenting system has been changed and rather than use Blogger's built in commenting system I'll try Haloscan's commenting system for a bit, so we'll see how that works.

Other things I'm considering for this blog are a guestbook, a tagboard and possibly a hit counter and maybe some entries every once in a while!

Possibly more later.

Britain's Most Dangerous Road?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/derbyshire/3807631.stm

If they can identify the most dangerous roads in the country and what makes them dangerous, perhaps they can identify the steps needed to remove the danger. Just saying....

Testing....1

I've changed the page layout template to the one you see here, only one problem the page formatting now looks a bit iffy, where's my Idiots Guide To HTML?

More changes later.....

Anyone For A Game Of Googlewhacking?

I just thought I'd point your attention to the game of googlewhacking, anyone can play as long as you have a computer and an internet connection and I would recommend a dictionary.

You can find the rules here.

Not sure what age you need to be to play.....

We Woz Robbed

England 1 - France 2

Well Euro 2004 is well and truly underway and England opened up their campaign with a loss.

England were on top for most of the game but when David Beckham missed the penalty, you could sense England's luck was running out and sure enough it did in stoppage time at the end of the game. Didn't see much of Thierry Henry was he playing?

Current Mood: Optimistic

First Post

Okay, here we go then with the first post. I've finally decided to have an online presence but rather than create a website I've taken the blogger route. So we'll see how this goes.

More later....

Current Mood: Thoughtful